looking at my heart...

I am overwhelmed with the strength, the opportunities, the support, and the grace we have been given.  Over the past few years we have had so much information to process, to pray about, to turn over to Him, its unbelievable.  The truth is, in our house we are continuously learning that our God is bigger than anything we can imagine.  The sad thing is that when He does show us His awesome sovereignty through miracles and answered prayer, we continue to be amazed, stunned even that He would be so good to us.  

Clay and I were talking about how humbled we have been by the past week and how sometimes it seems like the weaker we feel, the less we can accomplish on our own,it's then that He has the perfect platform for His glory to shine.  I feel like there is a glow in our hearts right now, one fueled by gratitude and understanding that the gifts we have received are all at the hand of a mighty God who loves us in such a tender way...it all seems like a huge juxtaposition.  Our friends and family continue to march through our journeys with us, we can't imagine anything without them, their prayer, their texts, their support.  A simple thank you does not begin to express the gratitude in our hearts.

By the way it was a very special CC's birthday...it was so good to be with her and NOT in the hospital this year! I hope she felt special, I hope she felt how glad we all are for the gift God has given us.  I am so grateful For eyes to see my mom, to love her, to let her really know me and what is on my heart, to lean on her and to respect her and delight in our relationship. Little things like the way people always mention her smile when she comes to mind, I could never explain that to her. 
I am so blessed that I get to see glimpses of it everyday in Murphy, the way things have to be placed just so, no drawers left opened and nothing out of place in his space, and in  Tink...when she throws her head back and laughs, with her PINK hair bow permanently fixed in her hair, when she asks for chocolate with a just a little pink ice-cream (when I am totally vanilla)...thats all my mom showing up in my little tinky.  

Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good, for his steadfast love endures forever. 

Psalm 136:1

I'll post tomorrow...

At least thats what I have been saying and putting on my daily "to do" lists for about a month.  It's not that there hasn't been anything to say.  And it's not that our house hasn't been operating in our typical whirlwind fashion, stopping to acknowledge, "ok, God we trust you and we know you have us."
Its just, well they are growing up faster, they are going to do more and more things, and well it's harder and harder to justify sitting on the computer while they play.  Don't get me wrong I still have to fold laundry and paint (sometimes) when they are with me, but if I could pick one of the many things I learned over the holidays it was that time with them is a very precious gift.
The sound of their sweet voices will change with time. Their dependence on me will diminish more and more.  Even their sweet little pajamas are becoming more like "big boys and girls."  So while it might seem insane to watch my babies do 540 puzzles a day, its a gift to watch them work together and to see their brother/sister bond transform before my eyes.  Lately, they love each other.  They have always "loved" each other, but now its, "hug and a kiss before night night please", or each of their teachers telling me "they run across the gym hug, then plop down on the floor for a good old game of ball."
Its funny though how God gets me ready for some of these changes.  Just when I start to focus on "how sad I would be if they didn't get to see each other at school" or how "worried I am about where everyone will be next year", God hears my inner struggle knows that its starting to take on too much weight in my mind and heart...it seems like its then that He puts something far more pressing in front of me and turns my self imposed stress into reliance on Him and gratitude.
I am grateful for Beauty and the Beast, that Murphy loves the Beast (even though Daddy is the beast and Murphy is Gaston), I am thankful that Madden knows every word and that I have now seen it 1254 times.  I am grateful for lipstick.  There are 134,672 different "lips" at our house, but they are her weakness and for now give me a glimpse of the prettiest smile on the planet.   I am grateful for puzzles (and the dollar tree who sells them)  we got 23,419 for Christmas, and somehow we all enjoy new ones.  I am thankful for friends and family who pray for us and with us every single day.  I am thankful for the scriptures people have sent us, and for Kellee's suggestion, to memorize them (no I haven't done this with many, but I have been able to remember some and claim them for our babies).
I am filled with gratitude for the network of people in our lives, this is one of the ways God has shown me his fingerprint on every detail of this family.  Its amazing, how connected we all are, and how he weaves our lives together for good, just when you don't know where to turn.

So long 2011, even though I can't believe it's come and gone already...

2011... Count it all joy

Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.

If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him. But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea that is driven and tossed by the wind. For that person must not suppose that he will receive anything from the Lord; he is a double-minded man, unstable in all his ways.

(James 1:2-8 ESV)

I know everyone says it, especially the “old” people, but the years seem as though they are moving triple time.  Maybe it’s having two toddlers at home and having not a second to think, ponder or plan, but 2011 is nothing but a blur.  It absolutely flew by.  We had lots of ups and downs, as everyone does, but when I look back on it, the things that first come to mind are the multiple doctor visits and the fourteen nights (not consecutive, thankfully) that we spent with Madden (three nights) and Murphy (eleven nights) at LeBonheur.  As a follower of Christ, as a family that believes, we know that despite any downs, we are constantly on the upward trajectory - fighting from victory, not for it.  

The times we spend in the hospital forced us to slow things down, spend time together, and realign our values.  We crossed paths with new people, and hopefully left as much as we took - or better.  At the end of it all, our children are well and we can truly “count it all joy” as our faith was strengthened.  And as an aside, let me just say that the book of James, as short as it is, is one of the most powerful books for anyone needing a “motivational” speech (and yes, that is an understatement).

As for the ups, we have many.  Murphy’s school expanded just in time to allow him at least another year or two with a talented and caring group of teachers.  Madden is quite likely the smartest little two year old I know and continues to amaze us every day.  Murphy has made tremendous strides and may just be the next Eric Clapton - that boy can jam.  We had a great vacation watching our beach bums take after their parents and be content to hang out in the sand and surf all day long.  And we topped it off with a great Christmas season - the first one in which both kids finally knew what was going on.  

Moving on to 2012...

The paparazzi has been around so much - the kids blow kisses everywhere to everyone....

1st visit with Santa, a little shaky at first, then we realized there was no turning back and we overheard "Hi, I'm Madden, I'm  
 2..." and from then on when you ask her what Santa says, "ho ho ho, how ya doing?"

We got this mom, really.  

Madden decided to once again join Murphy's class in the Christmas program,  any chance to be on stage...

Seriously?  Think he likes to dance?

Madden's teacher is sitting down in front.  I guess Madden felt like she needed to keep everyone in place. (To be honest I think she gets this from her aunt BB...I'm just saying)

She spotted us, with a great big, "there's daddy!" 

"Nom nom nom nom."  I hope he always makes those noises.

CC and a cookie, life is good.

Murphy catching a ride with his buddy Rex...hilarious.

Our friend Mr. Adam, coloring with Tink.

Yep thats a soccer ball in our tree. Don't know how he did it but I didn't find anything broken...

Elf on the Shelf - in the most southern drawl...if only you were here all year.

Lets bake-whats with the hand on the hip?!?!

She worked so hard only to have Daisy eat her creations :(

Uncle Sweet Pea is 28!

My favorite part of this picture is that face in the back-happy boy!

There's Mr. Pickles, how did he get up there!?!

Saraaaaahhhh gave this to Murphy.  I might be obsessed!

Holly gave Madden all things educational, they may be soul mates.

Then she sat down and quizzed her, what a great gift... :)

Cookies for Santa

the loot

The bribe...I am desperate, I know, I know.

What was santa thinking?  It's really not fun to be serenaded with the drums at 5:15, but he does love them.

Heaven on earth - a guitar (or ukelele, but don't tell him).

Yep she wore these all day.  Hope we don't forget its a headband later...

BIKES!

Notice they are each resting with their hands full.

Skipper got new shades :)

Our cousin Land came to visit!  More roommate pics!

Tea time with Land's grandmother.

Land's aunt LuLu entertaining all of us.

One for the dorm wall.

That;s about 75 lbs worth of babies I'm toting...good grief they grow up so fast!

Mimi and Pop are here and they got us a train!!!

And aunt Kellee sent a drum he can wear!  Genious!!!