icky

Where have I been....hmmm good question.  Seems like I have been in the middle of ickiness lately.  You know those times in life when it seems like everywhere you turn there's a mess or something sad happening?  Our sweet Bo Bo and Bridget left this morning to move to Australia, yep you read that right AUSTRALIA... and that makes us sad.
We realized we didn't really put a dent in the bucket list and that was disappointing.  It just seems like summer has come and gone and now what?
I was at a funeral this week and the minister spoke about how no matter what we can always have joy... a joy not from this world...which brings me to the dollar tree.
About a week ago mom and I decided we would take the babies to the dollar tree and let them "shop" for a bit.  My mom and I were chatting away while the kids were knee deep with choices all over the floor...gross, I know. Anyway, this precious woman comes around the corner with her arms full of shoe polish.  She explained she was a teacher and buying supplies for her class.  She said she knew Madden and Murphy because a friend of a friend of a friend had sent her our blog years ago.  She went on to say that she had watched them grow up so much and that we look "exactly like our pictures"... so funny!  She was so sweet about the babies and by the time we left they each had a knew treasure and a new friend.
All this to say...maybe its not the big bad sad events that should have my focus and energy when I all I have to do is look down and see my two littles in a pile of toys with smiles from ear to ear.
That precious lady made me stop for just a minute and look at those little faces. I am beyond blessed to have them.  So this summer the bucket list didnt quite get finished...but summer's not officially over and there's always next year, right?

As an aside Mrs. Margie from the dollar tree was in Costco today with my mom...hmmm God's fingerprints and little reminders in the midst of the icky :)


Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.

My boy on his first day

My man's cubby

The Redbirds

My other boy turned 7!

And I turned...well anyway...

Madden's wearing Emily's flower girl dress for Sarah's wedding!

Cheer camp...!!

Not sure who is more frightening

Glam

Sweet friends

Oh and in other news Madden is now pippi longstockings, EVERYDAY.

Goodbye to Bo Bo and Bridget ughhh.

Seriously?

I'll give it a shot...

So this is kind of my song lately.  I love it.  I was trying to explain to Clay what I wanted to say in this post and his response was "think about the words in your song...does it tie in with what you are thinking?"
So, yes it does.  I don't really have the words to describe how this "Summer" has gone...other than it just seems to go and keep going before any of us can catch a breath.  Why does that always seem to be the theme around here?
Here's the thing.  We have had only one day so far with no therapy, no school, no camps, nothing on the calendar.  1 day, thats it.  And although its self imposed, it's still stressful and once you get into the midst of things.  Then I start to think about how from here on out I will have less and less time with these littles.  They are getting older...and I am getting so selfish about time with them.  It's really wearing on me thinking about that.
So, I think every hour God gives me the perspective I usually lack to see that while it may be 140 degrees out and we may be going through the exercise of getting in and out of the car for the 45th time, these times are short lived.  Next year my friends will be in school all day and I will need God to get me through those hours too. I may be the only mom in town to say this, but I love Summer, I want it year round, without a doubt...and a few days with no schedule here and there well that would be icing on the cake.
I am so thankful for a God who knows I need a reminder here and there about how blessed I am and how my job is probably the best one on the planet.  I am thankful for the heat, for the pool, for the snacks, for the movies, the "quiet time", for the opportunities and even watching Beethoven every day while we get ready.  I am really just thankful for every hour that my kids need me.  Like clay said...there's such an analogy there.

So thankful for this fellow.  Happy 7th birthday Paddington!

That's a flutter kick...from one of my swimmers :)

These two are getting married!! WOOHOO! And I have a flower girl and a ring bearer at my house!

With that said Clay just emailed me this from an app he has on his phone...strange timing.
Most of you are doing too much right now. Your schedules are too busy. You have so many irons in the fire that the fire is about to be put out. You're smothering it. 

How do you know when you're doing too much in your life? How do you know when you're out of God's will? How do you know if all the things you're doing are what God expects you to do or you just put those expectations on yourself? 

The answer is simple: You're always tired. It is not God's will for your life to always be tired. God never intended for you to go around with that heavy a load. 

In Matthew 11:28-30 (TEV), Jesus said: "Come to me, all of you who are tired from carrying your heavy loads and I will give you..." ... more loads? Is that what He says? "I'll just dump more on you. We'll add to your schedule." No, He says, "I'll give you rest." The yoke I will give you is easy and the load I will put on you is light.' 

What's got you burdened? Most of us carry a yoke of burden that we've put on ourselves because of unresolved guilt and unrealistic expectations. We're trying to prove that we matter. 

You don't have to prove you matter to God. You simply do.

Maybe one day

Well it seems like all of the..."if we get through this week, if I make it past that event..." have come and gone and here I sit having made it another year.
April and May come full force to our house and bring chaos... pure craziness.  The birthdays, the schedules, the end of the year, the cakes, the party, the trip (notices I did not use the word vacation)....
It's. a. lot.
And every year it does a number on me...is it because the babies' birthdays happen to be at the same time the year is winding down and we are marching forward to new places and big boy/girl endeavors?  Probably.
 But lets be honest here, I am the most sentimental sappy person you can probably find.  So if their birthdays were in the Fall it would be tough because they were starting something new, if they were around Christmas it would be tough because the "year is halfway over already!"  Get the picture...Clay pointed this out to me a few weeks ago while I was trying to justify the immense sadness I feel to see this year go and this chapter close.
When I tell you I sobbed during parent teacher conferences (even though I promised I wouldn't and I swore I had no tears left)....I sobbed, the teacher sobbed...people probably thought I was getting bad news or being asked not to come back next year.  But there was no stopping it, not a chance.
BUT with all of this said, doesnt the hesitation I feel towards change, signify some sort of contentment and gratitude for how things are?
 I say, yes, definitely Yes.
Tinky's pre-k year has been more special than I could have imagined.  The group of parents God put us with...well we will be friends for years to come.  I am blessed to know these mommys and daddys.  Her teachers-the dream team.  I have had so much confidence in them and I will forever be thankful for starting this experience with such a wonderful cast.
Murphy has presented some craziness when it comes to school...again though I am grateful.  The silver lining in that has been more time spent with my fellow, and truly seeing some genuine friendships that will be in place through thick and thin.
So I made a dvd for Madden's class because I had so many sweet pictures from this year...maybe one day I can get through it without a tear (or laughing as Clay has started to call it so as not to upset my tink).
So maybe all of the "laughing" just means things are good, right?  Maybe one day all of the goodness wont make me "laugh" so much...I am not promising anything but-

Maybe one day.