Friday, November 25, 2011


I have had A LOT of time to think about Thanksgiving this week.  As I am sitting here in the hospital with Joy, and Tink is having Thanksgiving with the rest of my family, I am praying for a spirit filled with gratitude.  In case you missed it, I am incredibly sentimental, I like to document everything, and make a big deal out of birthdays and holidays, perhaps too big of a deal, but it is what it is and I am here with one baby and my other one is with my parents.
This week has sent so many emotions running through me showing me my imperfections and my ugly struggles.  I have seen my fear, my struggle with lack of control, my frustration because I want to be in 4 places at once, my inability to let the little things go (like one week/one day of the year), I could go on and on...BUT I have also seen my sweet family and friends come through again and I have seen how so many people spend the holidays in a way and a place thankfully foreign to me.
   I am sitting here thinking of ways to welcome Christmas and teach the babies about the meaning behind it all... and ways to really soak up December. Yes, I actually started a list of all we can do together when we get home. But in the back of my mind there is such a sad and ugly truth as I look around.  Many of the rooms around us are occupied with children.  Thats it, just the child.  They are here alone in the hospital...thats unthinkable to most of us.  I also recognize some of the same patients we saw here back in February and March, again I can't even let myself think about what that is like...sitting here for 6 days will do a number on you, so months and months with no certain end in sight, I can't really even grasp that feeling.
When I start to get down or sad about not seeing Tink on Thanksgiving, or being in a hospital with my baby who is still sick, if I just glance out our window into the dark rooms to my right, our blessings are absolutely clear.  Clay and I have asked if we could go see some of these babies who are here on their own, but its not allowed... I am sorry this feels like a gloomy post, its really not intended to on your loved ones, and give thanks for ALL of our blessings... I am thankful to be able to be here even if its the third time in 2011, I am thankful for the confidence in the care my babies receive here, thankful for the nurses who love on my baby, thankful that Clays mom sounds/or at least says she's on the mend, thankful that my parents have tink and I know she is perfectly happy, even though I think they may want to keep her, thankful that my mom slept on the couch with one scared Daisy-hound 2 nights in a row because it was storming, these are all such blessings to Clay and me.
 Clay sent me this yesterday and I heard it on the radio later, I realize it is a popular verse for Thanksgiving, but it really spoke to me this Thanksgiving in particular.

Philippians 4:4-7

4Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, Rejoice. 5Let your reasonableness be known to everyone. The Lord is at hand; 6do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. 7And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Yep he's a Dr. now he has it all down...
To be honest with you, Murphy has made a little nest in his bed, He has about 100 pillows and he loves his blankets, his nurses even know not to mess with the nest...I have to be so fast when I change the sheets, other than that he doesn't complain much

More presents!

Uncle Sweet Pea, Sarah and Tink made cookies for Joy Bucket, I wish I could add sound to this picture, in his typical pigeon fashion, "nom nom nom nom nom"

I have more pictures to post, once I get my hands on the other camera...I can't wait to see tink's version of the day. :)

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

The Silver Lining...

So, yes it is obvious in certain situations even though I know better,  I panic.  Both of my kiddos have the flu and as of last night Madden's has turned into pneumonia. We are supposed to "watch them like hawks" as Madden is asthmatic and well its just not fun with 2 little ones.
The thing about this is the coughing,wheezing, constantly wanting to go night night, all topped of with a HUGE dose of fever, and as anyone who knows me knows, I. don't. do. fever.
104+ = panic...and we are on day three of this madness.
So, last night Clay had to sleep with Madden and I chose the little vampire I birthed, Joy Buckets.  We both emerged from our designated rooms this morning, more tired than when we parted ways last night....gave each other the morning report, glad we were all still in tact and started racing around to get ready for our 200th doctors visit...(as an aside here I have to let you know that I have not had the shot and neither has my mother).  My mom has fearlessly spent 2 solid days in the doctor's office and loved on both the patients regardless of the walking petri dish we have become.
So, anyway back to this we were walking around in our fog that has become the norm-Clay says," you know, what the silver lining is in all of this", I stood there and didn't even answer waiting for the punch line (oh, I forgot to add that Murph decided to throw up all over me last night) anyway still waiting for the joke.
Clay looks at me and says, "Madden doesn't seem to notice she's been "sucker" (her pacifier that she has had for 2 1/2 years) free for 3 days and I think that will be the end of it."
  At first I thought, are you kidding me?  Then I thought to myself, good grief does this guy ever stop?  What in the world makes his brain function like this (and at this time of day-it must be deliriousness set in)... but then I realized he was so right-he totally gets the idea of "giving thanks in all things"  he understands Eucharisto!  I am just going to sit back and try to take lessons...I remember when we spent a week in Le Bohneur in February and he again said, you know "what the silver lining is in all of this, we didn't have to think about what to do for dinner and we got to spend a whole week together."  ( I agree on the sucker issue, but this might be pushing it, at least a little bit.)
But I will say that other than being worried about my two little ones, and a bit sad about all the fun thanksgiving feasts and celebrations they are missing, I am beyond thankful that I am sitting here with one beside me and one in the next chair, watching the lion king and trying to convince them to get up enough nerve to have some fruit punch.  I will be even more thankful if no one throws up fruit punch on me later :)
Colossians 3:15
"And let the peace that comes from Christ rule in your hearts... And always be thankful."

Do you think she's excited about her princes party?

Seriously?  I get to wear this in the car???

Joy buckets at the circus....

I think I fit in just fine here, momma.

A little hesitant about the horse, but she finally came around, she comes by it honestly.

So, Pop what do you think? 

Touchdown, TIIIIIgers (thats one very long i)

Thursday, November 3, 2011

Thank you thank you thank you!

"Do not withhold and good thing from those who deserve it when it is in your power to help them."  Proverbs 3:27

I borrowed this from a site near and dear to our hearts I will post more on them later...
For now-

1.  Harwood's annual beer tasting was two weeks ago.  I can't really explain to people who aren't in our shoes what its like to see and feel the support of our friends and family.  It means the world to us.  We want to push Harwood to its maximum capacity.  Our precious friends and family, were there for our family.  They showed up in a major way with coming to the party and donations.  Our hearts are really filled with gratitude because of the way you support our joy.  Thank you, thank you from the very bottom of our hearts.  AND big news as of this morning Clay will be serving on the Harwood board this year we are so excited he will be part of such a great organization, this gem has truly served our children well!

2.  Halloween, so I might not love fall but I will never forget the memories of the joy buckets and Halloween this year.  I also had no idea how absolutely exhausting Halloween can be.  2 school parties, family for dinner and smores 2 rounds of trick or treating and 2 exhausted babies.  (Also a bit emotional to see tink in the bunny costume that my mom made for me when I was her age-ughhh)

I could have taken this same picture 15 years ago.  This is at the Harwood Fundraiser, sweet friends supporting our Joy
I really don't have a final count on how many hats my dad bought, but Sweet Pea particularly loves his because it fit his large head with no problem-ha!  Let me know if you want one!

Halloween before school, poor Murphy wanted to be a rockstar he settled for a football player, and well tink, was in full form.

He gives lessons too sometimes, you should see him try to show us exactly how to play!

Tink cheers Go TIgers (the I is very important) 

Tink's Halloween parade...such fun

Tink's class, that poor giraffe is the ONLY boy!

About to decorate his pumpkin!
He sees CC coming up to the door-I wish I could have captured his dance with this!
So sweet, uncle sweet pea and sarrraaaaahhh were saints on Halloween

Being a hoarder presents all kinds of obstacles, Halloween is particularly difficult when your bucket gets heavy yet YOU CANT TAKE YOUR HANDS OR EYES off of it....
A lion!  No, its just buckley...more like a cowardly lion...poor fellow cries like a baby when uncle sweet peas not around.

I think she would live in her costume

Murphy does not like for Buckley to be upset, so he camped out beside his pal to check on him.

Smores....and still wearing her costume, she asked me today what "time is trick or treating"  wow it may be a long year.